Project management has its serious side — but we all need a laugh. Our Humour section collects cartoons, anecdotes, and tongue-in-cheek observations that highlight the lighter moments of project life.
Four aspect Project status
Having read about South Western Railway’s 6+ year delay in putting into service 90 trains costing £1 Bn, UK railway projects might like to consider changing from RAG status to using a more familiar ‘traffic light’ system used across the network.
RAAG Status
Green – indicates that the project direction is clear and you can proceed at the maximum speed allowed.
Double Yellow – indicates a preliminary caution and that you should expect a Yellow at the next status update.
Yellow – indicates that you should slow your approach and take tasks at a restricted speed and be prepared to stop at the next status update.
Red – indicates that you should stop because there is something getting in the way of progress.
Six phases of a project
The six phases of a project:
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Customer Journey
An old lady walked into the bank, handed her bank card to the teller and said “I would like to withdraw £10”.
The teller told her “For withdrawals less than £100, please use the ATM”.
The old lady wanted to know why… The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her “These are the rules, please leave if there is no further matter. There is a line of customers behind you.”
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds and handed her card back to the teller and said “Please help me withdraw all the money I have”. The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She nodded her head, leaned down and respectfully told her “You have £1,300,000 in your account but the bank doesn’t have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come back again tomorrow?”
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately. The teller told her any amount up to £3000. “Well please let me have £3000 now.” The teller kindly handed £3000 to her with a polite smile.
The old lady put £10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit £2,990 back into her account.
Project Managers should never underestimate how users of the services we implement are wedded to familiar ways and see change as an inconvenience to be circumvented rather than an improvement. A poorly sited path which gets ignored in favour of walking a more direct across a grass lawn would be another simple example. Trialling a service or process with real users prior to implementation, the use of prototypes and encouraging opportunities for fast feedback (all part of an Agile mindset) will prevent many of these ‘own goals’.
Another late night
The lights were still on in the project office as another deadline loomed and the project manager was pulling yet another late shift.
A man walks into the office and says, “I think I’m a moth.”
The project manager replies, “You shouldn’t be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist.”
The man replies, “I am seeing a psychiatrist.”
The project manager says, “Well then, what are you doing here?”
The man says, “Your light was on.”